| bin Laden: |
Our cause is going well in Afghanistan? |
| Omar: |
Yes, Great One. Our Taliban forces have destabilized Kandahar. |
| bin Laden: |
Wonderful news. We have opened a second front against the Americans? |
| Omar: |
While the killing goes on in Iraq, they are now forced to defend against our offensive in Afghanistan. |
| bin Laden: |
I understand that the Pakistani army is helping us? |
| Omar: |
Oh yes, Mighty One. President Musharraf has ordered the army to furnish our fighters with advanced detonators for our roadside bombs and batteries for our stinger missiles. |
| bin Laden: |
And what of Pakistani intelligence? Are they still looking for us? |
| Omar: |
Oh, no, Courageous One. That was just propaganda for the Americans so Musharraf could keep milking Washington for more goodies. |
| bin Laden: |
Goodies? I do not understand the term, Omar. |
| Omar: |
Forgive me, Great One. Goodies is a word for American largess. Musharraf pretends to be a Bush ally so the Americans give us F-16 fighter planes and advanced weapons while suspending their economic sanctions. Also, Washington supports all the loans we are getting from the Export-Import Bank. |
| bin Laden: |
Doesn't President Bush realize that you are just playing him? |
| Omar: |
I think so. But his approval ratings are very low. With the coming November elections, he cannot afford to criticize Pakistan after announcing that it is a major U.S. ally in the fight against terrorism. |
| bin Laden: |
Surely someone is aware that Pakistan is using the Taliban to destabilize Afghanistan? |
| Omar: |
Yes, O Great One. The American CIA understands perfectly. The CIA delivers intelligence to Musharraf and nothing ever comes of it. No major al-Qaeda leaders and no Taliban leaders have been captured, even though the CIA knows the exact villas in Quetta where our leaders live. |
| bin Laden: |
I would think the CIA would be furious! |
| Omar: |
They are, Mighty Leader. But nobody listens to them anymore. Not since their George Tennant referred to Iraq's possession of weapons of mass destructions as a "slam dunk." |
| bin Laden: |
I do not understand the term, Omar. |
| Omar: |
It's a term used in the game of basketball. A game of throwing a ball though an elevated basket. |
| bin Laden: |
How can one throw a ball through a basket? |
| Omar: |
The baskets have no bottom, Great One.
|
| bin Laden: |
It is odd that a country that can produce sophisticated aircraft cannot construct a proper basket. |
| Omar: |
It’s all to our advantage, Peerless Leader. The Americans are strong on high-tech, but weak on low-tech. They have no defenses against our roadside bombs set off by simple garage door openers. |
| bin Laden: |
Do you think their President Bush will eventually retaliate against President Musharraf and our other friends in the Pakistani army? |
| Omar: |
Not before the November elections, Great Leader. |
| bin Laden: |
The elections? |
| Omar: |
The American President hates Democrats even more than terrorists. |
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