Bush: |
|
Come in, Bill, and take a load off. |
Frist: |
|
Thank you, Mr. President. |
Rove: |
|
Bill, the President and I are very concerned about your statements on taxing oil industry profits. |
Frist: |
|
It's really gone over big with the press. |
Cheney: |
|
Goddamn press. |
Rove: |
|
But, Bill, the public has cooled down now that the price of gas has dropped almost eighty cents a gallon. |
Bush: |
|
And home heating oil and natural gas are going down too, right, Karl?
|
Rove: |
|
Right, Mr. President. The market is always more efficient than government in setting prices.
|
Bush: |
|
And the world price of crude is down, right, Dick? |
Cheney: |
|
Damn right! The weatherman really snookered the Arabs.
|
Frist: |
|
I still don't see ..... |
Rove: |
|
Bill, our studies show that governments all over the world have been messing up their oil policies and driving up world crude prices.
|
Bush: |
|
Is that right? Have I seen those studies? |
Cheney: |
|
We didn't want to burden you, Mr. President. But Karl's right. Tell him about some of those nutcase policies. |
Rove: |
|
Indonesia, a country of 220 million people, has really been subsidizing its oil prices. Even more than we subsidize farm prices. Well, the government kept the prices so low that even the poor were burning gas and kerosene like there was no limits to the stuff. This crazy demand actually pushed up world crude prices. |
Cheney: |
|
Yeah, damn near bankrupted the country. Now the subsidies have been cut. Diesel prices are up 160%, kerosene is up almost 300%, demand is way down and world prices have fallen. |
Rove: |
|
And Thailand dropped its subsidies back in June.
|
Bush: |
|
What happened, Karl? |
Rove: |
|
Prices are up 30 percent and demand has fallen 16 percent.
|
Bush: |
|
Anyone else? |
Rove: |
|
Malaysia has cut subsidies, increasing prices four times since January.
|
Bush: |
|
Prices up, demand down again, Karl?
|
Rove: |
|
Yes, Mr. President, helping world prices go down. |
Bush: |
|
Well, Bill, does that convince you that our government shouldn't be messing with the profits of our oil companies? |
Frist: |
|
Not entirely. It's still good politics, Mr. President. |
Cheney: |
|
Good politics? Dr. Frist, I am beginning to think you are as dumb diagnosing politics as you were in diagnosing Terri Schiavo.
|
Frist: |
|
Mr. President, I object. |
Bush: |
|
Now, now. Let's all settle down. Bill, you want to run for President in 2008, don't you? |
Frist: |
|
Well, er, I am thinking.... |
Bush: |
|
Good, you are thinking. Do you remember how I leaped out of obscurity to steamroll the Republican nomination in 2000? |
Frist: |
|
Well, you started out with a $60 million campaign fund and.... |
Bush: |
|
And where do you think the money came from? |
Frist: |
|
I don't know. |
Bush: |
|
It came mostly from Texas. |
Cheney: |
|
And mostly from the oil men you want to hit with an excess profits tax.
|
Frist: |
|
It did? |
Cheney: |
|
Now, Doctor, how much money do you think those oil men are going to put up for your campaign after you tax their profits?
|
Frist: |
|
Oh. I see. |
Rove: |
|
Are you now on board, Bill? |
Frist: |
|
Yes, sir. The market is far better than government in dealing oil prices. |
Bush: |
|
Thanks for coming, Bill. |
(Frist gets up and leaves) |
Cheney: |
|
You sure this guy is smart enough to be the next Republican nominee? |
Rove: |
|
There are other alternatives, sir.
|
Cheney: |
|
Who? |
Bush: |
|
Oh, the governor of Florida is showing real possibilities.
|
Cheney: |
|
Jeb? Good Lord, if we bring that off, we'll really own the Supreme Court. |
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