Posted 3/4/2008

WHO'S UPSETTING THE POLAR BEARS?

This little polar bear is really upset.

No, he wasn't just dosed with castor oil by some mean zookeeper.

No, he didn't get fed a rotten seal.

No, his mama didn't whoop him upside the head.

Then why is he making such a face?

He's really angry at the Governor of Alaska.

Why? What did she do?

Governor Sarah Palin and all her Republican Congressman are attempting to prevent the Feds from listing the polar bear as an endangered species, even though they have been dying off in the last ten years as their habitat of ice rapidly shrinks.

The summer ice which the bears depend on has shrunk the equivalent of Texas, Louisiana and Alabama. Without the ice, the bears cannot survive.

Why is she doing this to Alaska's polar bears?

It seems all the greedy folks in Alaska are scared that they won't continue to get their big oil dividend from the state in a few years. You see, Alaska's famed Prudhoe oil field is running low. The pipeline is now running only at half capacity. As the oil runs out, so does the annual dividend enjoyed the dependent folks of Alaska. (Everyone gets the money, even the rich.)

But Alaska has more than oil. It is filled with natural gas. The Alaskans are smacking their lips in anticipation of new riches from gas as their oil runs out.

But there's a catch. In order to enjoy the natural gas money, there has to be a new pipeline to carry it to market.

The environmentalists are opposed to the building of a new natural gas pipeline because of the effects it will have on the land and its species. Especially polar bears.

Alaskans are afraid that if the Feds declare the polar bear an endangered species, they will be prevented from building a pipeline, which might hurt our furry friends even more.

So the Congressmen and the Governor from Alaska are attempting to get the Bush Administration to block the move to declare polar bears endangered.

Who will win?

Well, the Bush Administration is made up of oil men. Men who love oil and gas.

Men who do not seem especially enamored of polar bears.

That little bear might have to stick its tongue out even further.

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