RIOTING AGAINST JENNA BUSH

It is July 2018, and police are having trouble quelling the rioting against the latest Iraq troop proposals of President Jenna Bush.

Although former President Hillary Clinton had cut Iraq troop levels "to the minimum," President Jenna Bush wants a "super surge" to "end the conflict in Iraq forever."

Politics aside, the current rioting is nothing like an riots seen in the past 30 years. In the past, when the police arrived on the scene, the rioters either fought the police or used Gandhi-like passive resistance methods, lying down or sitting in.

But in the current riots, when the police arrive, the rioters break out in cheers.

What's going on?

In the past, the police generally attacked rioters with nightsticks, fire hoses and rubber bullets. But so many injuries and lawsuits resulted that police chiefs began looking for less abrasive means of subduing rioters.

Coincidentally, the Defense Department began searching for less lethal means of subduing and capturing insurgents, especially those who intended to mix with civilians.

In 2007, the Defense Department contracted to have rubber bullets hollowed out so they could contain chemical materials which might be useful in quelling riots. Many chemicals were tried.

Eventually the Army settled on nitrous oxide. Bullets filled with nitrous oxide proved very effective in reducing and eliminating the hate and anger that inspired rioting in insurgents and their sympathizers. The Army was able to break up riots with a minimum of harm or loss of life.

Soon the product was tested all over the country by big city police departments.

The new chemical bullets proved very effective in taking the anger (and starch) out of rioters. Injuries, deaths and property damage were virtually eliminated.

There was just one problem:

Although the rioters settled down and stopped breaking windows and torching stores, others raced to the scene yelling, "Hit me! Hit me!" and "Me too!"

The police would fire their chemical bullets on the newcomers and soon others would stream to the scene, demanding to be shot. Even small riots were soon turned into huge street parties of laughing, dancing rioters.

When interviewed on TV, most rioters claimed that the chemical bullets "were the greatest." Some said, "They're better than weed ... and they're free!"

With rioting mobs swelling in size every day, police are now looking for a new chemical for their rubber bullets.

The use of laughing gas has had unintended consequences.

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