THE WINDBAG PROFITS TAX

Congressman Fogbound and Senator Weathervane have been running around making screeches about the depredations of "Big Oil."

Congressman Fogbound wants a big windfall profits tax. A little smarter, Senator Weathervane is opting for a investigating commission.

As they scamper about during this election year, each is running from poll figures which show that 65% of you think Congress is doing a bad job. (Curiously, the poll shows that the same 65% of you approve of your individual Congressman. This is very odd logic. How can all 435 Congressmen be getting decent 65% approval ratings while Congress as a whole gets only a 35% approval rating? Could it be that all you voters love localized pork, just as Congresspersons do? Is "a bridge to nowhere" no longer "a bridge too far?")

Anyway, this energy crisis gives you a very clear way to find out how good your Senator or Congressman really is.

All you have to do is ask two simple questions:

Which "big oil" profits are you going to tax?

And how are you going to do it?

Russia's Gazprom is the biggest oil company, with oil and natural gas reserves of about 250 billion barrels. It can really influence world oil prices. But how do you put U.S. windfall taxes on a Russian oil company?

Saudi Aramco is the second biggest operation, with gas and oil reserves about as big as Gazprom's. But same problem, Congressman. How do you tax Saudi Aramco?

Venezuela's PDVSA has reserves of over 240 billion barrels, but President Hugo Chavez hates the USA already. How do you think he would react to the idea of our taxing his oil company? (He already has a big nuke order in at Tehran.)

Qatar Petroleum has about 200 billion barrels in reserve, but they love the good life their citizens enjoy with excess oil profits rolling in. If we even considered taxing them, those people would convert their silk scarves into slings and let fly at us with camel dung. (Low-tech, but dangerous.)

Iraq's Oil Ministry has about 140 billion barrels of gas and oil in their reserve picture, but the war we brought to them has sharply reduced their taxes and income. Their windfall profits are about as abundant as their weapons of mass destruction were. (Should we give the fearless CIA another "slam dunk?")

Finally, you get down the list to ExxonMobil, which has only 71 billion barrels in reserve -- hardly enough to influence world oil prices when compared with the really big companies in Russia and the Middle East.

Of the world's largest 20 oil companies, only three are American companies. And if you lump all three together, they account for less than 7% of the world's oil and gas reserves.

In the world of large oil companies, ExxonMobil is bit of a shrimp. It has less than 4% of the world's oil and gas reserves. It produces a mere 2.5 million barrels a day, about 3% of the world's total output.

So, Congressman Fogbound, how are you going to slap a windfall profits tax on "big oil"?

Or are you going to go after "small oil"?

You could tax ExxonMobil, Congressman, but all you'd do is reduce the amount of money the company has to invest in new exploration and production. You might even drive its stock down far enough so the Chinese could buy the company.

Now that would really make you popular in November.

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