HOW DID WE END UP IN A TRAILER PARK?

It is July 2025. Selma and Sam Scroode are seventy-five-year-olds living in the Bright Side Mobile Home Park in Estero, Florida.

“Sam, how in the world did we end up in this awful trailer park?”

“I dunno, Selma. I made a lot of money at Ajax Tool and Die, didn't I?”

“I know. You were the general manager. We had a big house. We belonged to the country club. We were prominent people. Everyone envied us.”

“I thought the good times would go on forever. I never thought Ajax would go bankrupt and we'd lose our pension and health benefits.”

“Sam, I told you we should have been saving more for a rainy day.”

“I agree with you, but we had all those expenses, like the kids' educations.”

“Sam, I told you we should have sent them to a nice state school instead of those expensive Ivy League universities.”

“I know, I know. But both kids were bright as hell, and it was very difficult to get into Harvard twenty years ago and ......”

“And nothing. Instead of being content to brag about your golf score, you wanted to tell everybody at the country club that your kids were going to Harvard and Yale.”

“I was very proud of Sarah, Selma.”

“Sam, it wasn't bad enough that you paid Harvard $40,000 a year for four years. You had to go on and let her go to medical school and that cost us a fortune. Then, on top of that, we hade to subsidize her two-year residency.”

“Selma, don't get yourself so worked up. It's water over the dam.”

“It's not water over the dam. It's money over the dam. If Sarah'd gone to a nice state school for four years and got a nice executive position, it would've saved us almost $200,000. We could be living in a nice condo on Miami Beach now.”

“Selma, I don't know why you always have to pick on Sarah. What about your spoiled son? He cost us a bundle too.”

“David is a good boy. It was only fair to let him go to Yale if we were spending all that money on Sarah at Harvard.”

“It wasn't just Yale, Selma. Remember that we had to foot the bill for a Masters Degree in Art Studies, or something like that. That cost a pretty penny. If we'd sent him to a four-year state school, we could have saved over $150,000.

“You mean we could have saved over $350,000 on the kids' education?”

“Yes, Selma. For that kind of money, we could be living in a big condo on Miami Beach.”

“I still think we did the right thing, Sam. Who knew the Chinese would put Ajax out of business?”

“You hear from the kids lately?”

“It's been a couple of months now, Sam.”

“Maybe we could hit them up for a loan or something. After all, Sarah's a big-shot gynecologist now.”

“She says that the HMOs are really killing her and she's really strapped.”

“She's really strapped, all right. She's strapped into those two BMWs she owns and that eight thousand square foot mansion she owns and that pied á terre in New York.”

“She says she can't help us at this time.”

“What about David?”

“Sam, you know David doesn't make very much teaching art history at that high school. Last month he tried to borrow some money from me.”

“Oh, well. I guess we're just stuck here in mosquito acres.”

“Well, one good thing. Our Social Security check just came.”

“Big deal, Selma. It barely pays for our medications.”

“Well, we can splurge on dinner tonight.”

“Beans again, Selma?”

“But with big chunks of Spam this time.”