Will Rogers Counsels Baby Boomers

WILL ROGERS COUNSELS BABY BOOMERS

Will Rogers once said, "I never met a man I didn't like." The great cowboy humorist of the 1920s and 1930s also provided many wise observations which could be very helpful to all the baby boomers confronting the horrors of senior discounts, retirement and arthritis.

For all of you for whom the sixties signify more of an age than an era, here's what Will Rogers would counsel:

"When you are dissatisfied and would like to back to youth, think of Algebra."

"Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it."

"Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know ‘why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved."

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks."

"I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top."

"One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young."

"One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been."

"Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable."

"Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

"If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old."

According to the latest science, Will Rogers was right on the money. The abilities to laugh and shrug off stress tend to keep you acting – and looking – much younger than your years.

Will Rogers also had some humorous advice for the Bushes.

"Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco." (For the President's "Axis of Evil" speech against Iran, Iraq and North Korea.)

"Never kick a cow chip on a hot day." (For Barbara Bush's comment that Hurricane Katrina refugees housed in the Astrodome are living better than they did in New Orleans and shouldn't complain.)

"Always drink upstream from the herd." (For the President sending Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld to mingle with the troops, only to be embarrassed about questions concerning inadequate vehicle protection and absent body armor.)

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put in back in your pocket." (For the President's budget deficit, which is about to set a new record.)

"There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves." (For President Bush and his plan to privatize Social Security.)

"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back."

"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut." (For President Bush on the deck of the aircraft carrier making his "Mission Accomplished" speech.)

"If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it is still there." (For President Bush and his losing Republican support for his more tax cuts in the face of record deficits.)