Posted 1/21/2011

REAL MAD MEN OF THE SIXTIES :
THE WOMAN IN HIS BED

My stomach was churning up an ulcer as we waited in the conference room for Robby O'Leary to appear. Our 9:00 a.m. meeting was already ten minutes late starting.

John Burgard, the director of Florist Transworld Delivery (FTD), was staring at his watch while tapping his foot on the parquet floor. Florist Sam Santori, the chairman of FTD's marketing committee, drummed his hairy fingers on the table. Finally, I leaned over to Joe Aberson, our account exec, and said, "You better call the hotel."

Robby was supposed to present story boards and print ads for our big Valentine's Day introduction of FTD's LoveBundle Bouquet. I was nervous because the idea was only half sold. The client was very skeptical about risking a ton of TV money on the first branded bouquet in the history of the floral business.

They were equally concerned about my idea of pricing the product 50 percent higher than last year's rose bouquets.

The problem was that February was the worst season of the year for roses. They were in short supply, of poor quality and cost an arm and a leg. Yet the average guy walks into a flower shop with a one-flower vocabulary. After "roses," it's strictly "duhhhh...."

On the other hand, my idea of the LoveBundle was a bouquet consisting of flowers which are attractive, long-lasting and cheap in February. The florists selling LoveBundle stood to make a fortune on the margins. If they would sell. That was the rub.

As the minutes ticked away, I was having second thoughts about bringing Robby to a meeting of this importance. Robby was a great art director and all-around creative guy. But he was also one of those people who gave all Irishmen the reputation of being fun-loving alcoholics. Plus -- tall, skinny Robby looked weird. He had the whitest skin and the blackest hair on the planet. And the hair was generously beyond shoulder-length.

As we were sitting there grinding our molars, Joe Aberson burst into the room, red-faced and visibly twitching. "I got the manager to send a bellhop up to Robby's room. He came back down and said when he opened the door to Robby's room, there was a woman in the bed!"

There was a moment of shocked silence. Then Burgard burst out laughing. Soon we were all having that kind of semi-hysterical, tension-relieving laugh that saves advertising men and their clients from nervous breakdowns.

Quickly recovering, I yelled, "Joe, jump in a cab, go up to the room, and at least get the materials so we can have the meeting." While Joe was gone, we all made some phone calls. Outside the conference room, there seemed to be a great deal of laughter. John and Sam were having a high old time spreading the word.

Finally, Joe walked into the conference room carrying the art case filled with our campaign materials. The client people followed him in. Although much relieved to see the art case, I asked, "Joe, what happened to Robby?"

"Yeah, and who was the woman in the bed?" Sam laughed.

Joe, struggling with the answer, finally sighed and said, "There was no woman in the bed. It was Robby. The bellhop saw someone with long black hair sleeping in the bed and thought it was a woman."

The laughter that followed was more than semi-hysterical.

Sam yelled, "They don't have long-haired men in Detroit yet!"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the LoveBundle was sold to the client.

Coming next in the series: "LoveBundle – The First Order".

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