Posted 3/7/2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BARBIE

A most happy 50th to you, Barbie. You are still one great doll.

You may have 275 different occupations with uniforms to match, but whatever you choose to wear today, you are going to look fabulous.

You deserve the best because you survived an incredibly painful and difficult birth.

When Mattel announced they were going to present the public with a doll possessing a glorious body, the do-gooders of the world howled in outrage.

"MATTEL TO PUT BOOBS ON DOLLS!" screamed one of the New York tabloids.

"MATTEL TO SELL ANATOMICALLY EXPLICIT DOLLS," intoned the dignified New York Times.

Politicians beat their breasts, crying out against "this terrible attack on our innocent children." Preachers thumped their Bibles, shouting that Barbie was going to ruin the morals of little girls. Parents sent in tons of protest mail. Fathers in saloons all over the country cursed Barbie over their beers. The whole country seemed to be up in arms over the birth of Barbie.

Mattel's own research indicated that parents would not buy the doll. "My little girl is going to stay with Raggedy Ann," commented one indignant mother.

Every mother knows that giving birth to a baby is a very painful experience. But in birthing Barbie, Mattel would experience pain beyond belief.

Then why did Mattel go through with Barbie? Why not abort her? That's what smart marketing companies did when their new product projects failed in research.

Despite the avalanche of negative publicity, Mattel bravely went ahead with the birth of Barbie at the March 9, 1959 Toy Fair in New York.

You see, Mattel knew something no one else did:

That politicians were empty suits filled with hot air.

That preachers had lost their clout.

That the USA's thought leaders were neither thinking nor leading.

That the vaunted researchers had interviewed the wrong market.

That Father no longer knew best.

That Mother had lost control of the purse.

And that little girls were calling the tune in 1959. And the tune was, "What Janie wants, Janie gets."

In today's language, Janie shouted at Barbie's would-be assassins: "You are no longer the boss of me!"

Barbie was an instant smash as all the little Janies of the world beat down their parents' objections to anatomically explicit dolls.

Even at the ripe old age of 50, Barbie is still enormously popular, bringing Mattel over $6 billion a year in sales.

How long will she last?

As long as little girls continue to play dress-up with their mothers' shoes and dresses.

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