The Return on Lawyers

THE RETURN ON LAWYERS

Last night, I dreamed I was a secretary sitting in on a meeting at Bristol-Myers Squibb, where the two main players were CEO Peter Dolan and Senior VP for Corporate Communications Robert Zito. As best as I can remember, the dream went like this.

Dolan:	How's the public reacting to our Plavix lawsuit?
Zito:	Which lawsuit do you mean?
Dolan:	The one against that unspeakable Canadian drug manufacturer. The one who is trying to destroy our $5.7 billion Plavix sales. The one who wants to manufacture an unspeakable generic to our beloved Plavix. The one who could destroy our profits and our company.
Zito:	Well, the lawsuit has been filed and it's been in the papers and....
Dolan:	In the papers? Everybody knows?
Zito:	Take it easy. It's been in small articles buried in the financial sections. Nobody's been reading about it.
Dolan:	Nobody?
Zito:	No. The public is more interested in other stuff.
Dolan:	What other stuff?
Zito:	Minor things. You know. Tom Cruise's baby, the Middle East, the terror threat, the fall TV season, the baseball race, the start of the pro football season. Stuff like that.
Dolan:	You mean the public isn't aware of our attempt to extend our patents on Plavix and ....
Zito:	... and keep Plavix profits and volume going after our patents have expired? No. Nobody seems to be aware of our lawyers' moves.
Dolan:	They don't realize that generics would lower prices and benefit everyone who needs blood thinners?
Zito:	No. The public isn't even aware that we bribed Apotex to keep its Plavix clone off the shelves until 2011.
Dolan:	Please don't use the "B word." We simply made a $40 million investment in Apotex. The fact that they decided to postpone offering their Plavix clone until 2011 was their own affair.
Zito:	Sure, Peter. Sure.
Dolan:	We make investments. We do not bribe or influence others.
Zito:	Right, Peter. But our financial boys tell me our profit returns from not having our lawyers influence anybody are far greater than the returns we're getting out of Research and Development.
Dolan:	The financial people said that?
Zito:	They said that little $40 million investment in Apotex is returning billions in Plavix sales and profits, but we're getting a lot of zeros out of the billions we spend on R&D.
Dolan:	Sad, but true. Do you think we should hire more lawyers?

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