FATHER'S DAY. BAH! HUMBUG!

This Father's Day thing has gone too far.

It's about time we started celebrating our uncles.

After all, we have a lot more uncles than fathers.

And our uncles are a whole lot nicer to us. (Did an uncle ever send you up to bed without any supper?) Don't you get nice presents from your uncles without their wanting you to spend a lot of boring adult time with them?

And what about patriotism? And the war on terror? We're supporting our Uncle Sam. Nobody is out there fighting for Father Sam.

And how about me? Uncle Wisdom? Don't I deserve cards for all the people I help with my brilliant advice?

Fortunately, Hallmark had the good sense to put out an Uncle's Day card on Father's Day. (I won't complain that it was made by "a tiny Hallmark Division" called "Shoebox").

The inside of the card expresses my sentiments exactly.

(click here for a printable version of this article)